The Invaders Meet Excalibur
by OLD USERNAME DON'T FOLLOW
Summary: "Marvel Meets The Meisters" Chapter 3! Captain America has gone through a lot, but can even he deal with the holy sword Excalibur?
1. Just So We're Clear On Who's Who

Everyone who reads Marvel Comics for a living knows how Captain America got frozen in ice. He and his partner Bucky were on a missile, trying to diffuse it. It exploded and Captain America fell of it into the ocean, where he went into suspended animation. However, if you're reading this now, you're about to learn that's not the whole story. He did what he did, even though he knew he could've died. An encounter with the holy sword Excalibur can do that to even the strongest of men.

Way back in 1945, Captain America led his own team of heroes, the Invaders. It was made up of him; Human Torch, an android (not the guy from _Fantastic Four_); Sub-Mariner, who's basically Aquaman with winged feet (and he looks like Spock from _Star Trek_); Bucky (from the previous paragraph); Spitfire, a super-speedster; and Union Jack, a British guy with a gun. They had just toppled the nefarious Red Skull's plans to conquer America with the Cosmic Cube and were sitting at a bar celebrating when _it_ happened. (Does this scenario sound familiar? See _The Avengers Meet Medusa And Crona_ if not.)

"How are you not drunk by now, Torch?" A slightly intoxicated Union Jack. Human Torch replied, "I guess androids can't get wasted." Sub-Mariner muttered, "Regarrlisss... I... I'm wasted. I... I can't think straight. I'm so-" And then he passed out. A light suddenly lit up the entire bar. Captain America stood up. "What is that?" The light consumed them. They disappeared soon after.


	2. FOOL!

Bucky was the first to come to. He was in a cave of some sort. The other Invaders lay next to him, unconscious. Bucky saw a sword in the cave, embedded in the ground. He went over to it and pulled it out. A bright light filled the cave, awakening the other Invaders. "Welcome, heroes!" Said a mysterious voice. It appeared to be coming from the sword. Spitfire was confused. "Is the sword... talking?" When the light died down, the sword was replaced by something extraordinarily... lame.

"FOOL! What right do you have to decide how extraordinarily _ I am." Um, I'm writing the story. I'll decide what adjectives go in. "FOOL! I should have a say in the matter. I'm the star of this story anyway." Star? In the title, you got second billing. I'm not sure what the hell you're even talking about. "FOOL! I'm the sword Excalibur. My legend dates back to the 12th Century, you know." Bucky interrupted, "What are you on about now? Your legend's age is irrelevant to stardom-" "FOOL! Do you want to hear my legend or not?" Captain America stammered. "Well, uh... I... uh... okay, but-" "FOOL! Be quiet while I talk."

"My mornings begin with a cup of coffee with two lumps of sugar. My afternoons begin with a cup of tea. In the evening, I-" Bucky interrupted again, "Take a shot? Sounds about right for a nighttime drink." "FOOL! In the evening, I put on my pajamas." Captain America yelled, "What does this even have to do with your legend?" "FOOL! Why should I know? I'm not writing this fanfic."


	3. More Of The Last Part

"Do you know what this hat is?" Excalibur asked Bucky, who was thinking: _I'd cut off my left arm if this guy would just shut up_. By now, all of the Invaders but him and Captain America had bailed as to avoid Excalibur. Captain America replied, "It looks like it's made of silk, if that's what you mean." (A direct quote from _Soul Eater_ Episode #9, Excalibur's debut episode as a pain in the ass.) "FOOL! Remember, the taller the chef's hat, the greater the chef." "So..." "FOOL! Who said I was a chef?" Bucky yelled, "THIS IS REALLY PEEVING ME OFF!" This went on for hours, until the two heroes left. Excalibur chuckled to himself, "Heh. That's the best response I've ever gotten before. I should act like this about every 60 years or so."

Soon after, the duo had a choice between diffusing the missile from earlier or taking a two-week furlough in Britain (which has plenty of stuff on Excalibur, by the way). They chose the missile. The rest followed naturally.

60 years later, after Chapters 1 and 2 occurred, Thanos sat in his hoverchair. He reached for his pocket and pulled out a green gem. He then embedded it in his left gauntlet, which turned green and crystalline. He stood up from his chair and spoke.

"Kishin... AWAKE!"

**TO BE CONTINUED IN **_**THE SOUL GAUNTLET**_

_(If you get a chance, review. I need reviews.)_


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